Apr 14, 2012
Darkness Banished
Jun 22, 2008
Helena
Everything is white.
In the far off distance I hear music, mostly classical with a little Folk / Dixieland behind it.
I'm lying on my back, with my knees bent vertically, and one of my arms tucked under my head.
I ask aloud, "What is this?"
Behind me, he says, "Helena"
When I hear the word, I see it in the whiteness, like a subtitle. Yellow font, in perentheses...
(Helena)
He repeats it over and over, as I try to think of why the music sounds familiar.
(Helena)
(Helena)
(Helena)
(Helena)
(Helena)
I lean my head back and my body turns of it's own accord so I can see his face, and he's smiling at me as if I should've known the song was called "Helena", and I'm a dork for not remembering.
I narrow my eyes and smile back in a silent retort, and face away from him. My body is slowly moved (by an unknown force) to it's left side so I'm lying in a relaxed fetal position, and suddenly I start to feel a faint warmth envelope me as (the unknown force) pulls be backwards into his embrace. The closer I am to him the warmer I feel, and the more the whiteness around me turns to a soft yellow, then a soft gold, and finally a radiant orange. ♥
Three-Parter
Sunny Spring/Summery day, and I'm jogging/running on a high school track thinking, "That woman from work¹ was right! The track is much softer under the feet than gravel or concrete!" As I make my way around, I see more and more students sitting on blocks of hay and little rows of bleachers around the track. Inside the track ring are activities like face-painting and a guy with a lot of balloons, and suddenly there's a fair going on around me and the track has a few built-in obsticles for the students. There are slightly muddy ramps that are pretty shallow and lead up to mud-hurdles that are only 3' high, and I decide it'll be fun to try to jump the dirt-hurdle, but also feel I'd be embarrassed a little if a lot of people saw me slip or trip over it. Of course, I try to run up the little ramp, but it's so slippery that I spin around and fall up the ramp backwards and as I'm (apparently) wearing a little hoody, it gets caked and filled with slimy dirt.
After getting up, my neice, Ivy (who's almost 9), came over to me, took my hand, and walked around the track with me, while weaving between the waves of kids wandering around the field. I was clean again, and looked down to see Ivy taking off her Saltwater sandals. I suggested she put them back on, because the ground could scuff her feet and they'd be more comfortable with sandals on them. She casually refused and kept us walking around (less following the track and more wandering around the students now). A teenage girl walks up to me and tells me that a boy was asking if I was (first and last name here), and was I here to check up on him. I smile a little, feeling kind of flattered that a boy mistook me as someone he was interested in, but shook my head and said, "Nope, sorry!"
We're more in the grassy field now, and I notice Ivy's taken to hopping on one foot, so I stop and ask her if she's hurt. She lifts her right foot and shows me a fairly big (healing) scratch on the sole of it. I then tell Ivy that it's not an option - she needs to wear her sandals to protect her feet, because she's obviously uncomfortable - and this time she makes a fuss, looks at me and says, "F*ck no! I'm not putting the sandals on!" First I'm totally surprised that she said the "F"-word, then I'm upset that she's being so rudely disagreeable, so I squeeze her hand harder than I needed to, and then stopped myself because I realised it would hurt her and I hate the idea that I would hurt someone, especially a little kid. She remains ornery, so I look around for my brother.
Amongst the students are a few of my brother's friends (who are high school age in my dream) and my brother is with them chatting happily. I get his attention by calling him and say, "Nick, I need to have a serious talk with you." He acknowledges and comes over, and Ivy wanders around behind me. I tell him about what Ivy said, and immediately he replied with, "Well yeah, it's because I said it earlier today." I'm about to ask why he said it, when he continues, "Tiffany's been gone. She hasn't been home in three days, and I don't know where she is." Tiffany's definately not the type to just disappear so I started thinking of things that might've come up like someone in the family being ill or something urgent, and then I notice Nick's holding a white rectangular box of donuts and I say something crude so I can distract him long enough to snatch the box from him. It works and we joke around with eachother and I open the box to find big donuts with light-pink frosting and rainbow sprinkles, take the biggest one, and shove it in my mouth.
I don't know how it transitions, but I'm suddenly in my apartment. On TV I see a man (Obama², apparently) sitting next to another man on a stage of five individuals being interviewed, and immediately he reaches out and tries to strangle the man next to him with his hands. Everyone is shocked, but it's been reported that Obama has a mental illness and has random bouts of violence that are out of his control. He had denied it before but it's obvious it's true. Looking away from the TV, I'm standing in the kitchen looking into the living room and Obama and the other interviewees are sitting in a half-circle in chairs, facing me. They're all talking and it happens in front of me: Obama calmly talking, then immediately reaching over and trying to strangle the man next to him. Everyone is shocked and tries to stop him, and I dash over and ask Obama why he's doing it. He suddenly calms down and looks a little ashamed, but still slightly shielded, and he finally admits to his problem and discusses it a little with everyone.
The panel then start chatting with eachother, Obama included, and I make my way over to my kitchen again, and there's an ancient bag of Halloween candy on my counter that an old woman left there. I vaguely remember her putting it there and telling me a silly story about obtaining it when she was a child. She then leaves it for me, and I start to eat the little bite-sized Snickers from inside, one after another, dropping the wrappers on the counter.
Another random transition and there's a 6" gentleman (a mix between Judge Reinhold, and Michael Keaton) in a suit, and he has a wooden helo-propeller³ coming from the back of his jacket, and he's propelling his way down from a tiny window from atop a very large door. There's a large sitting fan that's blowing towards him and an over-head fan twirling above him, so he tries to find a pattern in the cross-breezes so he can make it down more easily, instead of being blown in odd circles. He slowly figures it out, and makes his way down safely.
As the man starts to land somewhere (on a green couch, maybe?), there's a man who looks a LOT like Judge Reinhold, who's hosting a contest on the radio, and I'm being quizzed by him. We're sitting in a brown carpeted, wood-panelled room that's just larger than a closet. It seems a philosopher/poet has posed a question he's already made an answer to, and listeners have to try to solve his riddle: "A man in his lifetime will have three homes/cabins. How many rooms will he have in each home/cabin?" Immediately I realise it's three rooms in the first one (his room, his wife's room, and their child's room), two rooms in his next home (his room and his wife's room, as the child has grown up and left the house), and the third has only one room (the man is now alone since his wife has passed on). I'm right, and Judge isn't very pleased that I figured it out so quickly - and while I should be happy, I'm left feeling sad about the man and how he's left alone - puzzle or not.
Now I'm upstairs at my old house, the last one my family and I lived in together (the room isn't defined yet, and is fairly open and random). I get a call on my cellphone from my best friend, Kira, and I can hear someone in the background getting excited about the rain outside, so I look out a window facing the cul-de-sac we live on, and the rain is silver and shimmery, and falling in long rows, instead of in random dropplets. Actual, vertical, sheets of almost unreal-looking rain are falling and it's incredibly pretty, so I run downstairs with Kira still on the phone. At the foot of the stairs is the front door, which is already open, and I walk out into the rain.
As soon as I step out of the house and walk down the steps, the rain turns to very large, thick and slightly heavy fluffs of snow. This is how I imagine snow should be! I'm totally elated and am exclaiming my excitement to Kira, and telling her how it JUST changed right in front of me. I start to feel the cold, and I'm barefoot, so I go back inside and run upstairs to put on socks and shoes. The upstairs is now the way it really was in our house, and I got into my room, and sit on the floor to put on some socks and shoes - which are already scattered in front of my already open closet. As I'm fumbling with the socks, I notice a kid in my room who's a mix between my supervisor's son, and Zero from the movie "Holes". I can't remember what he's telling me, but he ends with, "You saw my father, right? You remember him?"
I'm in a small, warm, and cozy log cabin. It's one room, a kitchen and living room sharing the space. All hardwood floors, and there are quilts over the sofas, and hanging from the walls adding to the cozy feeling. In a rocking chair behind me is an old African-American man with thin white hair and glasses, and he's talking to me about how he hates dusting and since he's alone now, he doesn't need three pairs of glasses now, just his 'water glasses' (so he can see how clean the floor is when he mops) and his regular glasses which he's wearing. "Ah jus' need mah watah glasses, so's I can see when the flo' shines!" (or something of the like). I smile, and enjoy his company, telling him about the snow I saw, and how I'm in love with the weather. Suddenly, I see out the kitchen window, and the snow has become rain. I glance away for a moment, and when I look back there's a few inches of water on the ground. I'm surprised and look back at the man, telling him how the rain is getting heavy, and when I look back out the window, the water is rising so fast I can see it happening - almost an inch every few seconds. The water is rising so fast I know we have no time to get out, and then I think of Kira and wonder if she's inside or outside.
Without another thought, I take in as much air as possible and hold my head up and the water is already past my chest and almost to my face. I kind of accepted I would be submerged and could possibly wait to see if the water would come back down as quickly as it had risen, but figured I had at least a little possibilty of making it out if I had to. I still wondered if Kira had made it out of where she was, but at the rate the water was rising, she wouldn't have anything to hold onto when she got tired of swimming - and I realised that's why I hadn't swam anywhere... even if I did get out... where would I go?
The water was to my lips and it actually hesitated for a moment - enough time for me to take in one more breath so my lungs are completely full - and then the man and I are completely under water and floating up to the celeing. I don't see the man, but I know he's behind me and I'm not worried because I know he's calm.
Immediately I'm filled with shock, because I know it doesn't matter how much air I have in my lungs. I'll have to let it out, and then it'll be too late. I let out a little air, because I feel like I'm going to burst, and suddenly I think,
"I'm going to drown."
¹ The woman from work is a guest who comes in for sammiches a few days a week. Last night we talked about running and how she prefers running on a track because it's more easy on your joints than hard concrete (not much better, but a little!), and I learned she's also a P.E. teacher.
² I actually know next-to-nothing about Obama. I know what he looks like, and have a few friends who are really hopeful that he's elected. I don't know why I dreamt about him, and have no subconscious opinions.
³ I have a game, Chibi Robo, and you play a cute little robot who has to plug into outlets to charge his battery as he runs around using different tools to help people and clean up everything around him. He looks like this:
...and one of the first tools you obtain is a propeller that pops up out of his head. There's a part in the game where you have to get into a bedroom, and have to climb up a dangly chime by the door to reach a little window at the top. When you go through the window, you have to float your way down into the room via propeller and can spiral around as you decend. It's really adorable!
· The old man talking about hating dusting, and preferring mopping must've come from last night at work. Before I left I told William (the Plaid Guy for the night) that he seemed to be busy with Spring Cleaning already (he was running around taking the drink machines apart and cleaning them out), and how I love to clean most stuff, but the one thing I hated to do as a kid was dusting. Then I almost left, and remembered I forgot to mop, so I ran back behind the counter at Subway and mopped the floor before leaving for home.
~
Metamorphose
I'm in this building that's almost an office building but I don't remember offices or furniture. Just halls, walls, corners, and elevators. Othere people are here too, some are people I know in my dream, but they aren't people I'd recognise in my waking life. I have a sister, who's pretty much River from Firefly (without the emotional instability). She's a quiet genius, who's still childlike, but with a strong mind. I'm protective of her like a mother, and we're walking to this main room where The People are congregating, and when we get inside, there's carpet and color, and a chalkboard that's randomly rolled over to one side of the room, and we go behind it. My Sister tells me she needs the special lotion the Governement's been using on her for experiments. Where is it? It's gone!
We step from behind the chalkboard and spend some time walking around and asking different people what this lotion is for, what it does, and why my sister needs it, and as everyone is very suspicious, and obviously work for the government, we're pinpointed from the beginning. I'm not worried about this, and approach a man (who I think slightly resembles Luke, this guy I went to highschool with) in a nice suit and he looks smug, like he knows we're looking for the lotion, and he's hiding it. I stare at him seriously, then swipe the bottle from him in a flash (first I imagine he's holding behind his back, second I imagine it's held in his suit coat), and walk off with it in hand with my sister.
Suddenly I feel a rush in my body telling me that everyone is going to come crowding at me for the lotion (which is in a fairly large frosted plastic bottle, the lotion itself is pink - in fact it looks a LOT like my shampoo in real life), and soon I'm almost engulfed in people, so I pour the lotion all over myself, and most of it lands on my face first. As I'm doing this I'm thinking, "They wont know why I'm putting it on me, but I'm going to let my sister take it off me and use it."
Soon everyone is back to loitering around the large carpeted room (I think there are large windows at one end), and I'm no longer covered in the lotion (I must've absorbed it all) and I touch my eyebrow and at least ten hairs come off on my hand. My hair's falling out! I'm changing...
I don't think I feel much worry, just a little vanity as my sister and I leave the room and dash through the hallways and look for an elevator to head down (waaay down) to the main floor. Apparently I'm changing very quickly and it becomes obvious I'm no longer wearing a shirt, or pants - I think - (but I don't feel naked without them) and my skin is a nice shade of pink-ish purple, and I have medium-small, leathery, bat-like wings on my back between my sholders. I've also lost my eyebrows and I'm wearing glasses less like my thick black geek-framed ones and more like Harry Potter's thin, round, wire-framed glasses.
It's night outside, and we want to get out, so we finally find an elevator, and get on with a man and a woman who don't even really take notice of my appearance, and we make our way down, down, down to the main level. I don't remember how I got there, but I ended up in a casino for a moment, where I was following my dad. I had to tell him I loved him, and that I was still me, it's still me! I still love you, I'm still myself, still me, it's okay... and he's still walking and walking and sort of half-looking back at me over his shoulder (and only barely resembling my dad, he kinda resembles a person who would be in The Sapranos). I finally turn him around and hug him, and understand he knows (but it's not a caring moment, just a factual one), and since I changed, he doesn't totally realise I exist. We're almost in two different worlds, because of it. Him human, and me ... um... bald, purplish, bat-winged girl. The moment isn't sentimental, just something I feel I want to do before I leave, and I'm not even sure where I'm leaving to.
We're outside, my sister and I, and it's night. The air is cool, we're in the middle of a downtown in a city that could almost be Portland, but it's also like a Chicago or some other place I've also never been to, but assume it's like. We're on our own - we're free, and it's great! Now were?
This is where it's foggy. We somehow end up meeting someone/thing that's also not entirely human anymore, and he's really nice (I think he's mostly my species too, but he seems different - and I notice he has eyebrows and hair - I want those! He notices me looking at his eyebrows, and I notice he's yet to be weirded out by my baldness and doofy glasses). We don't do names, we just know we're changed, and he wants to help us. I notice I can hear whale sounds around him, like Orca's and Dolphins, and waves. The sound comes and goes, and we go into a well-lit Fred Meyer-esque store with wares and things and he walks up to a couple on a bench that's behind a huge potted plant. He coaxes the woman to give him all the things she has in her arms, into a large glass bowl/vase that she's also holding, and he thanks her and runs off with it all. I'm assuming he's selling it for cash, so we can live off of it. How thoughtful! It takes the woman a moment to notice what happened, and that we're 'different', but she doesn't get up, just looks startled and as though she really wants to chase him, but can't.
I think we run too, but we're running down the street until there's nothing but pavement from left to right, and we're heading to a driveway that heads down into an almost invisitble haze. Imagine a dip in the road that leads to a tunnel, but I hardly notice it. I ask my sister where we're supposed to go, and then she looks at me with an almost-smile, and I hear the whales again, and we head towards the tunnel, but it's faded as you look into it. I look around and there are a couple other 'changed' around us with the one who we'd met earlier. One is a woman, and she's just like me, with hair, and they are all very nice and there to guide us. I can't remember the other guide, unfortunately. He was a different species, and probably yellow or blue or something. He lead the way, I had the feeling he was the silly, funny type too.
I was confused, because as we walked down into the haze, I slowly lost my breath, and though I didn't feel it on my (new)skin, we were submerging in water - but I can't see it, and it really only looks like a gentle haze in the tunnel. The tunnel was a gateway to an ocean! I slowly stumble back up the slope a little to try and find my way out of the haze/water but I can't tell where it starts and finishes, I just barely see the haze and feel like I'm slowly running on sand underwater, and finally I make my way to the 'surface'. I look over at the other Winged Lady, and ask her if I can swim with my wings, and she says she refuses to, she can't. I think my sister tells her she's fine, we can all swim, and then I take a deep breath, and go under.
We're swimming, and I realize it's faster than normal, we're swift! As we get deeper through the tunnel, it opens up a little and we weave through some underwater cave-tunnel of sorts (fairly dark, but easily managable) and find our way to an opening, and we're in a larger section of the cave, facing a wall with a large opening and outside of it (along the wall) are shelves with lots of different colored gooey sea-strings with color-coded things tied to each one. They're a sign that you reside there, and you have your spot, and each are grouped by species. I find goober-strings that are the same color of my skin and find one that has nothing tied to the upper end of it. I somehow end up with a blue.. Thing.. It's like a plastic milk-cap seal, but it's made of a seaweed tissue, and I tie it to the tip of my goober-string, and I follow everyone else inside. Suddenly we're slowly going from swimming to walking, and as we transition, we can breath again, and we're in a large room that looks like a rec room. Televisions, games, cushy chairs and all. And there are many different others like us there. (My sister is still human - again, imagine River).
I remember meeting some others and feeling like I'm home, though it's still a little new to me, and I walk around exploring the different things in each room. One room has a sort of obstacle course made from large Legos. They're stacked in row, and some are a block or two higher than others, and some have a gap in the middle. Specifically made for Flyers, like me. I'm totally excited at this and have to try it, so I jump up and find I'm actually zooming over taller stacks and down into dips and weaving to go through the gaps and I'm good! I'm naturally good at it! At the end of the row, I hover for a moment and land, then find the guy we'd met back in town, waiting. I again notice his eyebrows and ask him if I can have some too, and I feel comforted that I'll be able to have them again soon, so I wont be the short bald girl, though I don't stand out at all - not even as a newcomer. This place is defiantly home, home for everyone. I find I really like this guy, and we meet up with my sister who's wearing her skirt, knee-high boots, and a shirt with a sweater over it, and her legs have cool cyber markings on them, like a tattoo of metal seams down the outer sides of her legs, with small circle hinges and little markings that look like clockwork. She's changing, but different - different from all of us. She's Unique. I had felt protective of her at the beginning, but now I felt younger than her. I looked up to her as our leader, but she was with us, not alone above us. We didn't have leaders or followers, just us as a large group, and she was simply important, and different.
The guy I've come to grow fond of walks over to my sister, and I can tell they both already know what the other is thinking. I was wondering if we were to always stay underwater, in this hidden ocean-cave of ours and they were answering my question (there was more to this place than just a cave, we were just in one part of a large underground ocean), and they were taking me to part of the main room, to a spot where a trap door (the kind that opens up under someone who just got canned, and they fall to their doom) and it opened up and down we fell - into a vehicle. We were in what was basically a car, in a tunnel, and were driving our way out into the open of what I found to be exactly 12:00 mid-day. It was hot - but with my new skin it didn't really effect me, and the sun was blazing. The ground was dust, and the town looked Southwestern. We were in another land, a land where it was Afternoon. I felt a little change in this place, but only truly realized it when I noticed all the people who were sitting outside their houses, were largely overweight with their skin hanging from them. Everyone was a bit hairy in patches, even on their tummies, and the women were no exception. They were greasy, and grungy, and this wasn't my old world, where reality was like my waking life. This was a different place and a different time: 12:00. Why Afternoon Time (12:00pm) was so important, and thus practically the namesake of this place, I never found out, but that was the case. We watch as these people hardly pay mind to us passing through their town (one long stretch of road lined with dusty one-room houses on either side).
After some time we pass the town, left the road, and end up walking toward a coastline with sand, and the sky is clear, yet almost-grey, and the sun is no longer scortching, just resting behind a thin grey stratus of the sky, and it's a little cooler here. The beach is strewn with other Different, but these aren't the same as us. They aren't bad, but they want to grab us, and not let go - so I'm told (by The Guy) to fly over them, and keep naming yourself even when you dive underwater, just keep naming yourself, and suddenly he's saying his name and species and all these other namesakes and I can't tell any of it apart, so I keep saying, "I'm Katherine, I'm Katherine, I'm Katherine and I live here, I'm Katherine, I live here, I live here…" I've jumped and am soaring a bit above the things below us (they're about 4' with long thing arms and short thin legs and gremlin/trollish faces, and I think their skin is the color of a Greek Olive) and I'm being grabbed at and still saying my name and saying I live there (the ocean) and am pulling my feet away from these things, then I shoot like a dart into the water with my breath held, and keep trying to say "I'm Katherine, I live here" without losing air, but I do, and I want to take in more air, so I open my mouth, but I barely take any in (we're in water!), but it's okay, because with what little I have, I'll make it.
We swim.
Jun 21, 2008
Girl Murderer
I was outside on the campus parking lot of PSU - only it looked completely different, more like a hospital parking lot.
There was a small group of people in this parking lot, crowding around a much younger student. I waded through the people to see a 10-year-old girl on the ground. Somehow one or two paramedics shocked the girl alive - but the shock gave her the identity of a murderer - though she still looked like herself. When she got up, everyone scattered in fear, because they knew she was a murderer now, and had a knife in one of her hands.
I was afraid, but felt if I became her friend and tried to help her understand, I could bring her back to her old self. I tried to explain the situation to her, but she became frightened and angry. Suddenly I knew she wanted to kill me, so I ran away from her through the campus parking lot to one of the buildings. I did what I could to blend in with the other students so she wouldn't spot me very easily.
I noticed an oddly located room at the bottom of some stairs inside one of the buildings. At the base of the stairs was a wall; a small den built into the wall to my right - a room with only three walls (so you didn't need a door to get in); and to the left the hall stretched out. I walked to the "den" (which was smaller than an average bedroom) which had some desks and chairs, half of which were occupied. The professor's back was to the hall, his face to the students. I scrambled to a seat, and hoped the few students and teacher would be able to obstruct the girl's view of me, or at least I would blend in with them.
At this point, different senarious played out...
One: She stabbed me.
Another: I explained the situation to her after she noticed me in the 'classroom' and she cried.
The last: I felt panic and hid behind the teacher, who didn't really do anything to help me
...and I woke.
Polar Bear
I’m in snow, and it’s a little dark - grey-skied. It’s somewhere in the Arctics, Alaska, or some other snowy place - and it wasn’t necessarily freezing cold, either...
A small group of at least five teachers - I can’t remember if I knew them or not - where commenting on how the polar bear I’d found was my soul buddy, and only mine. As the people commented, they retold the story of how I’d come upon saving/finding it:
European poachers kidnap polar bears and (without actually doing anything with the bear!) they dump them helplessly in some other arctic location - leaving them stranded. The poacher would come by, find these stranded Polar Bears, would teach them to dig, and be mostly harmless.
I’d come upon this one particular bear and the bear and I suddenly became attached. Our souls experienced a sort of ‘kizmet’. We where destined to roam throughout our days together - and as the teachers mentioned this digging (while telling the story), I somehow communicate effortlessly with the bear, with movements and with my thoughts and heart(?), and suddenly he digs and digs and digs like a happy little boy in a sandbox - with huge furry, clawed paws instead of a shovel for scooping. The Bear appears while the teacher talks about it. Suddenly I’m playfully wrestling with Bear - feeling his claws - curled, sharp, but not actually hurting me. My environment becomes smoothed out - real looking, but more or less softened and slightly altered into a Final Fantasy-like format.
Some yards away, I see someone peek out from the dark trees that make up a never-ending wall against the white snow, and this person is pure animé, and as I go to her through the wall of dark fir trees with my bear, everything becomes like a very realistic video game. There're fresh, rolling fields of grass, the sky is blue…etc.
I meet up with three other kids younger than I - then I become their age - and we’re on a quest. I hop down from the base of a snowy hill - leading to a clearing where the snow and the grassy world are devided. I stop, having been told I need at least 10 dollars, and I go to my bear. He knows I need it, but somehow "tells" me that I can’t have his credit card, only cash - and I say, “That‘s okay - the money is alright, I don‘t need the card” and we still verbally stumble back and forth about the money - telling each other what we want to hear, but we still don’t understand. We finally repeat what we “said” and this time we understand each other and I hug my bear. I have to leave him here, to go out and find something or do something that would benefit Bear. If I don’t do this - he is not saved.
I hop onto the grass with the other kids, and we’re all animé/Final Fantasy-esque. The girl in the trio looks at me and asks if I have the money (three tiny little dots of white - feels cold like snow, but it holds like very soft foamy rubber in my hand... much like Dippin' Dots!), and I nod. I feel afraid that these three little dots in my hand could slip through my fingers carelessly, or I would need my hand to hold onto something in which case I'd drop them and all was lost.
A few minutes after we struck out on the path unfolding in front of us, it forks into two paths and I forget to be afraid about the little white dots. I’m confident, and they’re safely held (rolling around) in my closed fist. The path on the left leads to an spanish villa, and the one on the right heads to town and the rest of the “animé” world. To find this out, I turned left, first, and walked towards the villa thinking it could lead to the village just beyond the house - then I’m pulled back by one of the kids and we all start off towards the town, along the right path.
We all have necklaces with a little diamond hanging on the end. It represents some power us four have, that others do not. As I notice that we have these, I look up to find two of my new friends high up in the air! They were just walking away from the path, across the grass, towards a small town wall made of brick and topped with little black pointy spires. I walk along the grass only to find it’s so soft that it bounces under my feet like rubber! I’m floating up as the others are landing, and they bounce their way to the wall, and over it. I try to catch up and end up landing on the wall, my feet on either side of a spire, and I call out excitedly, and we all start walking towards the next wall. To cross over this wall, we have to jump again, only higher. This wall is the hardest to get over - and we all know it. With the dots safe in my hand, and my confidence high, I jump after the kids. They make it over and I land on the wall - again. Only this time, as I jump, I’m outside of my body - looking down at my self - and notice that as I’m about to land (in a VERY low crouching position), my necklace gets caught around a sharp spire. I’m landed, but as I try to stand up slowly, so as to unwrap my necklace from the rounded spike as I stand erect - I feel, hear and see the necklace break. My heart shatters. I couldn’t use the hand with the dots in it, they had to be kept safe, and my left hand was busy holding a spire to keep me from falling backwards - and the kids couldn’t help either, they were on the other side of a large and well-sunlit alleyway - on a wall across from mine, encouraging me to jump.
It was all over. I’d failed.
In an instant, I fumbled with my footing and slipped back - then opened my right hand - only a little - and slightly slipped my hand around the spire to my right, and the dots slipped out and fell. I was defeated. Feeling so absolutely sad and helpless - I wailed. It was all there was left to do, and instead of trying to reason with myself - I let myself wail. I had not only lost my quest, but something about it had made me lose all chance of ever saving my bear. Though he wasn’t in any peril, I'd had something to do for him, and if I didn’t accomplish it, something would be wrong or incomplete - and suddenly I’d failed, leaving that something wrong, and incomplete.
...When I woke from this dream, I found my hands under my pillow - the left one was gripping the underside of the pillow, and the right one was in a fist - still holding for the dots.